While describing the changes we have to make to our essays for the STAAR test, I was likening my thoughts/actions to that of a mama bear.
Mrs. ABC: The mama bear in me just came out!
Almost the whole class responds: Awwww...you love us Mrs. Clemens!!!!!!?!??!?!?!?!?!
One student simply states: Mama bears don't actually love their cubs, they just take care of them until they can hunt.
The rest of the class, in a defeated and abandoned-way murmurs: Awwwwww.
The same student responds: What? It's true!
Mrs. ABC (to the whole class): The truth hurts sometimes....*smirks*
LOL! Made my day!
I have battled ALL year long with liking this group of children. I have spent hours praying for a heart to love them as God does, and for the understanding that I would need to make a positive difference in their lives. They are just SO lazy and apathetic. They ARE smart, but they are beyond lazy, and their grades are suffering because of their apathy.
I have never disliked a group of children as much as I dislike this group. I like most of the children individually, but they are just a beating all together. A few weeks ago, I had such a hard time that I became almost angry in my prayer time, and I asked God why I was having SUCH a difficult time.
This was my post about my thoughts that night on Facebook:
Beaten, battered, and bruised after this week. Words CANNOT describe how defeated, disappointed, and taken advantage of I feel. But when all is said and done, I remember: this IS my calling! Teaching is NOT babysitting like many people outside of the profession believe it to be, and I CAN find good things about my goonies to remind me of why I go to work for them each and every day. I was made to teach, I REALLY wouldn't change it for the world! No matter how often I think I might....prayers for continual strength and wisdom are appreciated.
You can see that God told me what my place was. He reminded me that I am there in my classroom for a reason. I was placed on this earth to teach, and to reach my children in a way maybe no one else can.
I have seen some improvement in my attitude/opinions of my students. But they have been few and far between. I have noticed periodically that I am just sitting there smiling at my children while watching them interact with each other on assignments. This is not something that has happened much this year. They are SO lazy that they annoy me with their actions and questions most of the time.
Lately, however, I have seen a change in the majority of my classes. They work when they need to. They are quiet when they should be and they respond promptly to directives and expectations. They have become polite and, dare I say it, caring individuals.
I have been sick since Sunday night and I missed work on Monday due to fever. I was not able to pick the sub I wanted and ended up with a sub that I do not prefer. The sub sits at the teacher desk all day, does not get up and walk around the room, and yells at the kids for EVERYTHING. Needless to say, I felt sorry for my little boogers having to come back from a long weekend to that person.
I actually worried about them all day long. I didn't want them to have a bad day. THIS IS A REMARKABLE BREAKTHROUGH! I do not miss my students when we are off, I do not wonder how their breaks are treating them, and they are not usually missed when they are absent. So...the fact that I wanted them to be treated well....and to enjoy the day without me is HUGE! I thank God.
Most of my students greeted me on Tuesday, when I came back to work with: "Mrs. Clemens! I missed you! Are you okay?" Many of them hugged me or patted me on the back appreciatively when they saw I was back. It was an interesting day.
Today (Wednesday) my students in every class said something like this: "Mrs. Clemens you're in a good mood today." OR... "Mrs. Clemens you're weird...you know?" I would just laugh and agree. I was a good day. God is so good!
HAHA! That caught me just right! I realized that I was enjoying myself AND THEM! For the first time EVER!
I expect the rest of the year to be better. I expect that my positive influence in their lives WILL take place like it is meant. My God called me to teach, and he is helping me change my heart and my attitude about my lovelies.
They are crazy....I am crazy....
They need someone to hold them accountable......I hold them accountable...
They need boundaries....I have crazy strict boundaries which they love (I am the favorite of many even though I am the most strict)....
They need someone to believe in them and speak life into them....WHO BETTER to do that than me! My Heavenly Father believes in me when I have nothing for him to believe in and he speaks life into me providing me with ENDLESS possibilities.
My job is to make sure my students AT LEAST HAVE POSSIBILITIES!
I CAN DO THAT!
